52 notes
by simplyxcomplicated
Summary: Hinamori Momo has passed away yet she had hidden 52 notes around the house for Hitusgaya to find. It is amazing how so little words could speak so much in volume. inspired by a true story hitsuhina
1. note 1

This was inspired by a **true story **of a six year old who had passed away yet hid notes in the house telling her parents how much she loved her. To her parent's amazement, they found notes everywhere around the house and they each have kept one note unopened to let themselves know that there is still one note they havn't read yet.

* * *

**52 notes**

_[we can fly away]_

**Chapter 1**

It was over. His life was over.

well, not really, seeing as he was still alive and standing.

He was still breathing and living and doing all the things which a healthy human being should, physically. However mentally, he was not alive.

His world had been torn apart.

It had been just 24 hours ago when the doctors announced _"she's gone."_

How could it have happened? No, why did it happen?

She was so sweet and forgiving and everything about her was beautiful. And just like that, she was gone from the world.

Where was she?!

He looked at the body.

Yes, that sweet face was still there, her chocolate brown hair, her smooth pale skin. The eyes that would never open again.

Yet it wasn't her. Even though it looked like her, it _wasn't_ her.

**It wasn't her,** because that body would not smile at him brightly like she used to.

**It wasn't her,** because that body would no longer tease him gently or worry for him like she used to.

So where was she?

* * *

_[And we can touch the sky, Together we can find our way]_

* * *

It was hard going home and having the first thing you see, remind you of her. Everything remind him of her.

From the painted walls (that she painted ) to the stain on the floor that was a result of her spilling some orange juice on the carpet.

God this was hard.

He sat down on a couch, next to the old bookshelf that had been with them ever since they lived together.

_"This bookshelf is special to me because all the books upon this shelf speak to me."_

_"Who the hell talks to books?"_

_"I was being philosophical and you ruined it!"_

_"There's nothing philosophical about talking to books." _

_"HEY!"_

He glanced at the bookshelf as it reminded him more and more of her and noticed something.

Something that was not there before.

A small corner of a sheet of white paper that was sticking out from a book.

A book that very often, she would take out and read again and again.

Curious, he took the book out of the shelf and a single note dropped down from the opened page.

It was an A4 piece of paper which had been folded again many times.

Yet the thing that caught his attention were the two words.

**_'To Shiro chan'_**

Heart racing, he opened the letter with shaky fingers, wanting to know what she would've told him before she died.

He read the words on the piece of paper over and over again.

He didn't know how long he sat there but the whole time, it was just scanning over the words that were left by her. The handwriting was soothing to look at, the same loopy neat writing.

After he had consumed all of the world over and over again, he let the letter drop and started crying.

It was funny how so little words could speak so much in volume.

_Dear Shiro chan_

_Haha! I bet you're slightly annoyed that i used that old nickname, aren't you?!_

_Anyway, i just want to let you know i'm dying._

_Well this might be pretty obvious by now as i'm either in hospital or i'm dead._

_I suppose it was hard coming to terms of what was happening to me, but i've lived a good life and i had the opportunity to love you, which makes me have (almost) no regrets in life._

_The doctors told me i'd have one year to live, give or take a month or so._

_So i decided that for every week, i would write one note on how i felt and how i was doing._

_Right now i'm fine but sometimes i just wished i had more time. I guess i will never live to a ripe old age of 150 (kidding). But the thing that bugs me the most is that i will never see you again._

_What will happen to me after i die, Shiro chan?_

_Do ghosts exist? Does god exist?_

_I'm so scared on what will happen next, or even if there will be anything after death._

_If i die, will i just disappear like that? Never to see you again, never to touch you again or to love you again._

_What a cruel world it is._

_Well, this page is almost finished and i think you're getting slightly suspicious on what i'm doing._

_I will end this note telling you this._

_Around the house i will or have hidden 52 notes all that are all for you to read._

_I love you and love you and love you and love you._

_(and will never stop loving you.)_

_Love, Momo._

* * *

**Thank you for reading (:**

Reviews arent necessary but are appreciated.

[[time to update my other story that has needs to be updated!]]


	2. note 2

**52 notes**

**chapter 2**

_[[somewhere over the rainbow_

_ way up high]]_

* * *

There was a clatter heard and paper rustled as Hitsugaya ran from room to room, looking for more bits of paper that were similar to the one that was clenched in his hand.

_'i just wanted you to know that i'm dying'_

This was a year ago! And he only found out about that she was dying a few months before.

Why did she not tell him sooner? If only he had known at an earlier time...

He slumped against the wall and groaned. 52 was quite a big number yet where would she have hidden all of the notes? It was not in any locations that were obvious yet it was nor in any drawers or desks.

Thinking for a while he realised something.

The last note was found inside a book that was a favourite of hers... perhaps... there would be a trend.

Breaking into a run, he ran back into the living room and to the CD player which was lying quietly on top of a brown varnished table. Beside the CD player was a stack of CDs.

On top of the stack was a rather old CD case that had been listened to over and over again.

_"Oi, you always listen to that song. It's getting quite old now. Wait... it is old."_

_"Oh hush Hitsugaya-kun! My mother used to sing it to me when i was little and listening to it is quite soothing."_

_"Fine."_

_"Ah. Dance with me."_

_"Eh?!"_

_"Come on!"_

_"Hey hey!"_

_"You're not that bad a dancer..."_

_"Of course. I need to be, just to dance with you." _

_[[There's a land i heard of_

_ once in a lullaby]]_

Opening the CD case, a folded white note was tucked inside the case with the same words on top like the first one.

**'To Shiro chan no.2'**

He took a deep breath before reading it as his heart was pumping wildly behind his chest. It felt like she was still there, even if she wasn't.

And it felt like she could still talk to him.

He opened the letter gently, as if it was made of the most fragile and precious material in the world. Right now, it was.

_'Dear Hitsugaya kun_

_How are you? Hopefully you are well and i suppose by this time, i am not. (If i am dead, then i suppose all the humour is lost)_

_Congratulations for finding the second note and as you have noticed, unlike the first one, this one has a number on top. _

_So if you have finished reading this one, and the next letter you find is no.5, don't read it!! _

_Look hard for the next letters!!_

_It's the second letter and also the second week. I went to the doctor's just then for another check up. _

_Since i didn't explain what i'm suffering from, from the last letter, i will tell you know. Even if you already know._

_I was diagnosed with Spinocerebellar Degeneration._

_Slowly my body will deteriorate and i will no longer have control over it. However, my mental state will be fine._

_Soon i will no longer have the ability to move or to speak. It will be like living in a prison where you know that you are fine but your body is not._

_The doctors have said i would be able to live a few more years but i said no._

_I begged them to give me just one year and after that, let me pass away._

_Why, you might ask?_

_It is incredibly selfish of me but i would not be able to stand being locked in a hospital, to not see you and to not taste freedom. I love to sing, i love to run and i love to move. With this disease, i would not be able to do any of these._

_Right now i'm fine._

_Yet in a mere amount of months, you would notice my degenerating state._

_If i were to continue on with this disease for more than a year, you would have to be the one with all the responsibility to look after me until i will slowly die one day._

_I would rather enjoy a short life with you, then to experience a life of struggles and limits which would drag you and i down._

_In doing this, i selfishly have thought that i would save us both some trouble._

_On a happier note, the funniest thing happened! (Well it wasn't the funniest but it sure was funny!)_

_Rangiku made Ichigo carry all her shopping bags all the way to her house and you know how much Rangiku shops!_

_It was quite mean for me to do so, but i was just on the floor laughing as i watched Ichigo struggle with all the bags! In the end i suffered quite a stomach ache from all the laughter..._

_I should stop now as i have to clean up the kitchen after your 'experiment' with the blender yesterday._

_Some genius you are!_

_I love you and love you and love you._

_Love, Momo._

Hitsugaya folded the note again.

No...she did not have **just** one year to live as he just found out.

She chose it.

He wondered if she really did choose the right choice... either way she would have gone much earlier then he wished.

He smiled as he remembered the day in which he decided to try and make something with the blender.

Needless to say, it resulted in much mess, smoke and food splatters all over the kitchen and also over them both.

Since then, he has never touched that blender. Or any blender.

He walked off, leaving the living room to go in search for more notes, this time with two folded notes clutched in his hand.

_[[Somewhere over the rainbow  
Bluebirds fly.  
Birds fly over the rainbow.  
Why then, oh why can't I?_

_If happy little bluebirds fly  
Beyond the rainbow  
Why, oh why can't I?]]_

* * *

There's chapter 2 and thank you all for reading it!

Again, reviews are not necessary but are indeed appreciated.

Saying so, lots of thank yous for the following readers : **kRyStAlt3aRz** and **Moonlightview **for reviewing.

If anyone has noticed, i have ripped off the illness from 1 litre of tears. [[Again, that is ALSO a true story and i recommend everyone to either watch the drama or read the journal of the girl. Keep a box full of tissues next to you as you will cry.]]


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